“The Day My Body Released 40 Years of Holding” - Deepa
“Constipation was with me since age five. After one breakthrough, it disappeared — and never returned.”
I lived with constipation for more than forty years.
It was so normal to me that I barely questioned it. I managed it with laxatives, I ignored it, I tolerated it — but I never imagined it could change.
Then came a single meeting that altered everything.
It began unexpectedly: writing down every fear, every frustration, every memory I was angry about. Then pasting those words on a wall in front of me… and simply staring at them.
At first, it felt ridiculous. But the longer I looked, the more the words broke apart — until they were no longer sentences, just scattered alphabets. Something inside me softened.
Or broke open.
I was asked to lie down. Hours passed.
When I got up, a wave rose inside me — nausea, heat, tears. Within minutes we were by the ocean.
Praveen said, “The sea is your Mother. You can tell her anything.”
And I did.
Everything I had held since childhood came spilling out — grief, anger, memories I had buried.
I cried like a little girl.
I cried until I felt emptied out.
Two days later, my body entered a purge — a mild fever, diarrhoea… and then something extraordinary happened:
my lifelong constipation disappeared.
Not eased.
Not improved.
Gone.
Three years later, it has still not returned.
Where Healing Turned Into Awakening
Movement brought buried emotions to the surface.
Silence sharpened my clarity.
In yoga nidra, I felt alive in every cell.
And in one of the deeper sessions, something fierce awakened in me — a lion-like strength, a Shakti I didn’t know I carried.
A drumming process opened another doorway — a powerful inner vision of Devi, fierce and protective. Something old dissolved that day; something ancient rose.
I began releasing what no longer belonged in my life — toxic connections, old patterns, ways I kept myself small. I started speaking up “respectfully yet fearlessly,” sometimes for the first time in my life.
I understood what it meant to feel alive, awake, and able to protect my own space without collapse or apology.
Where I Am Now
Today I:
speak with clarity
feel emotionally lighter
make decisions with ease
walk through life with a sense of inner protection
live with a quiet mind I never thought possible
This work didn’t just relieve a physical condition.
It opened a fierce strength inside me — and revealed parts of myself I am only now beginning to understand.
If I had to summarize it:
I came to heal.
What I found was power.