“Reclaiming My Strength, My Silence, and the Joy I Thought I Lost” - Neela
“I lost 20 kilos — but the real weight I dropped was the armor I didn’t know I was wearing.”
I grew up as an athlete — swimming, water polo, outdoor life. Movement felt natural, almost effortless. My body was my ally.
Then pregnancy changed everything.
My weight climbed into triple digits.
My feet started collapsing inward.
Walking barefoot hurt sharply.
Running behind my son when he would start walking felt like a distant dream.
And in the back of my mind lived a quiet fear:
“Will I need surgery someday?”
I kept exercising — gym, walking, yoga, jogging — but nothing created meaningful, lasting change. I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t undisciplined. My body simply wasn’t responding anymore.
When Praveen reached out to me for legal advice, I had no idea that conversation would redirect the course of my life.
He spoke of the four pillars — fuel, body, sleep, and mind — not as hacks or fads, but as a deeply integrated system.
Something inside me whispered:
This is the path.
The Difficult Beginning
The early weeks weren’t smooth.
My sleep was irregular.
My toddler needed me all day.
My eating habits were chaotic.
Some days I missed sessions.
Some days I barely held myself together.
But through all this, something unique happened — a kind of gentle, continuous support.
Check-ins.
Guidance.
Practical adjustments rather than pressure.
A community that understood what I was trying to do.
I realised something important:
In a world that constantly distracts you from taking care of your body, you need a community to return you to yourself.
Slowly, my system started responding.
The Turning Point — Returning to My Roots
One of my biggest shifts wasn’t physical at first.
It was my relationship with food.
I’m a lifelong foodie. At one point, I even considered food blogging.
But going months without eating out forced me to confront my attachments.
I realised taste isn’t the problem.
It’s the relationship with taste.
I went back to my childhood cuisine — simple, traditional South Indian meals — and my body softened in relief.
That’s when the physical transformation accelerated.
The outcomes were real:
I lost 20 kilos sustainably.
My arches stopped collapsing.
Walking became light and almost joyful again.
My clothes fit after years.
My confidence returned.
My daily fatigue disappeared.
I felt like myself again — or maybe like a version of myself I thought was gone.
The Retreat — Slipping Off a Cloak
What deepened everything was the retreat.
There, I experienced silence not as an act of withdrawal but as a homecoming.
Stepping into the 24-hour silence felt like slipping off a cloak I had worn my whole adult life.
When I came back home, I could feel myself putting old armor back on — the mind’s habits, the world’s pace, the emotional pressures of daily life.
But now, I could see each piece of armor clearly. And I could choose.
Another unexpected discovery:
I love dancing.
I never felt like “someone who dances,” yet movement opened me emotionally in a way I didn’t anticipate.
I also realised how much weight the heart carries when it is closed — and how much life opens when it isn’t.
What This Journey Gave Me
Today:
I’m lighter — physically, mentally, emotionally.
I sense people through my whole being, not just words.
I pause.
I breathe.
I choose consciously instead of reacting.
I parent with more calmness and clarity.
I feel in conversation with my own body again.
My health is no longer slipping away — it’s building.
I still have dreams — including completing a triathlon someday.
But now, these dreams feel possible.
This journey didn’t just shift my weight.
It shifted my life’s balance.
I found the joy I thought I had lost — and the strength I didn’t know I could regain.